October 22, 2006

Everything seems against me

Don't know la, I am feeling not good about myself, and seems not happy in everything, though tried hard to be.

It's going to be another emotional blog post, so if you cannot stand it, kindly press ALT+F4 now, LOL.

This morning, after Mass, I went to badminton court to meet up with my fellow members to play badminton there. Kinda cool to be umpire, but a bit frustrated with my lacklustre skill of badminton. Anyway good also to sweat a lot, but bad one was still to come.

Back home with some diaappointment after being not able to go out at the right time. Chatting at home just make me feel unappreciated and stressful with only getting the short replies and hanging ones. However, Emma's great and sweet testimonial put off my fire of frust.

Then nap in the afternoon was torturing, not to mention how miserable is that. Wake up and again filled with sadness, didn't know why AT ALL. I AM FEELING VERY VERY WEIRD!

Even shopping at Imperial Mall later at night also turn headwire because I could not go freely. My wish to go out tomorrow also slammed by Mum, who often questions my reasons to go out. I am just longing for my freedom.

Maybe is still the ego and the eager to be free pushed me to be like this today. I am so stubborn which of course doesn't contribute to happiness. All I need is just a humble heart, the heart that want to be servant, to serve my Lord, and to serve others.

But then, if others don't allow me to serve them, what can I do? Let it be to Jesus , my Lord.

God bless you all!

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