Too sensitive, think too much

Think too much, another "disease" that started a whirlpool in me. What a dilemma....

So allow me to have a description of my day today, then slowly you will know what happened to me actually.

Thursday's morning began as usual with a Mass, then I recite an early rosary after the laud prayer. Morning was very easy-going, staying at home, doing stuffs that I always do, like reading newspaper, online, chatting, and so on. Eventually it's all nuts to me, so I fell asleep at around half past nine.

Mood did not go on as I want at afternoon, as many thoughts about her started to "strike" me. I started to get to "think too much" trap, where I just felt so bad about myself. Strongly I felt all the "missing", "dreaming" are just some "make up" for the sake of my ego and desires. Or maybe it's just a make up, for no reason at all. Or even to catch people's attention only! In Chinese saying it's like "making own troubles."

I still have that question, do I really like her? Do I ever and really miss, appreciate and love her sincerely from my heart? Or is it all a make up?

Still I am very keen on my dear "love everyone" policy. I think this will make me happier and more wonderful.

To kill off that bad mood, I went to play some online games, plus another PC football game later. Didn't turn to be better mood after those games. So I just changed my personal message to "Enough! I don't want to miss you anymore!" With some angry and sad emoticons also.

Later at night my siblings and I went to caroling practice. More people turned out today and surely that was great. I had some voices to change the songs, but it's all rejected. Whoosh, never mind for who am I among them. I sang not so well but still can be satisfied with it. Sang along with my bro and sis as we went home with much delight.

So now here I am to write this blog lo. Currently the movie "Titanic" is on TV3. Watching such a romantic story like it made me to miss her even more. LOL. I have to say this blog is very hard to write, very hard to express my feelings in a proper, specific yet discreet way, so that your thoughts can still keep wondering around.

Anyway, I let and surrender all my heart and soul to Christ Jesus. In Christ I want to love him daily more and more. Allow me to fully to on you Lord, and guide me in a safe cruise to all the trials in this temptatious adolescence stage of my life.

God bless you all!